And the word is out...

I got back together with you-know-who, and have been just dying to spread the news. However, since I've been back together with him, there hasn't been so much time to actually get this information on a blog, and so it's been a week since we made such a monumental decision. Just so everyone knows, this was not a hasty decision on my part. He talked to me at eleven in the morning, and I thought about it at work, and then I went home, got out some conference talks and scriptures and good stuff like that, and I made a list of various things that were concerns or things I would change or things that I really liked. It ended up being three pages long. Besides that, life just seems a million times better, knowing that someone cares about you all the time, and that they might be thinking of you even as they read this blog. I think we will call this boyfriend of mine, San Diego, since that's where he hails from, in order for everyone to enjoy being anonymous. We're excited to go to conference together, to hear those awesome talks. I asked San Diego if he had a dream team for the Saturday afternoon session. If he could bring Neal A. Maxwell back from the dead, he would love to have him speak there. My personal favorites are Dallin H. Oaks, Thomas S. Monson, Boyd K. Packer, Sheri Dew would be pretty cool, and of course, the prophet himself, Gordon B. Hinckley. And the Tabernacle Choir there providing the lovely music.
Well, I hope that everybody's happy now, with seeing a couple new posts, and that I will continue to amuse you. Please obey traffic laws, and drive safely home...

The Root of My Indecision

I have discussed this subject previously with other parties, and have found the root of my inability to make decisions. However, they are not compulsive. Well, maybe they are.
Once in elementary school, my teacher passed out papers onto a desk, and I grabbed one first. One girl at my table called me "greedy" and I knew I wasn't selfish, but apparently that was the case, so I decided to never choose what I wanted again. I don't want to hurt other people's feelings, so I let them make the choices, unless it's something that I really want, or that doesn't really matter. That is the reason why I have difficulty choosing games to play, icecream flavors, or any other things like that. Whenever I was little and at my friend Abby's house, she would ask me what I wanted to do, and in order not to offend or to sound pushy or bossy, I would simply say, "whatever" or "I don't know" and our conversation would end up being something like the vultures on "The Jungle Book." There you go folks, the reason I don't make decisions well, unless it's something really important, of course.

Halloween Costumes

I promised ya'll a tale about the days of my life that are October 31st. Welll, there was the year I was Princess Jasmine, my mom made the costume, and my sister did my make-up, I think I was seven at the time, and my little sister, let's call her Finger Sucker in order to keep her identity anonymous, also chose the same costume. She's always been a fan of the princess attire on Halloween. So, this is my story and I''ll continue on. Another Halloween, I was a painter, an artist. I wore this huge Hawaiian shirt that had birds on it, and a beret. My mom cut out a piece of cardboard that looked like a palet, and then we put paint on for different colors. I have pictures at home, so it's too bad that no one here has access to them. Then there was the famous family pumpkin costume. I think several of my siblings besides myself have worn it. It was a puffy homemade orange thing, with a vine cap for your head. I think that one lasted a couple of years for me. Then there was the year of the fish. So, I like fish. Not the eating kind, the pet kind. That year, my mom had this blue flannel or some material like unto it, which was the ocean waves, so I decorated it with glitter and stuff, and then the fish itself. It was a hat! She got some gray stiff plasticy material, and then we made it into a fish that fit on my head. Ah the memories. The moral of this story is, my mom pretty much made my costumes, and I was brave enough to wear them, so, how I looked was all my fault. One day, perhaps you will see my picture posted wearing various costumes, and you will be able to laugh your head off at me. Today however, is not the day.
Peace Out!
(I hate it when people say that)

Penguins

To quote a dear good wonderful friend of mine, "That totally blows my hair back"
I told you I was random. Anyway, the topic of my blog right now. Penguins. For some reason, probably based during elementary school, I began to really like penguins. I wrote a story about a fictitious one named Karen, and gave it to my dad. I think he still has it. I have, or own but do not keep around with me, that would be nuts, two regular sized stuffed penguins, and then a huge one that my dad bought me for my birthday or Christmas one year totally randomly, since I don't really keep that many stuffed animals around.
When I was younger and wanted to run away, I always wanted to go to Antarctica. I didn't care that it was freezing cold. I told myself that I would live in a tent and help the scientists down there learning about the penguins because they would understand me. I just wanted to take my life savings out (about $200 at the time), get on a plane and fly there, without my parents knowing, and then I would have felt like they cared about me. Boy, was I a funny kid. Actually, this is the first time I have ever told anyone that, so now the whole world, or the five people that think my blog is amusing enough to spend time on reading, now that little known fact about me. Geez, I don't even think that my parents know. I think I thought of running away when I was between the ages of ten and twelve, when everything was so "dramatic" and the end of the world was coming for whatever dumb reason I was sitting in my room crying. You read my personality traits blog, so you know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, that's my whole story on penguins, I'm surprised that I wasn't one for Halloween. I'll tell you about all the strange get-ups that I was in in a later blog.
Signing off, this is your captain, Que sera.
Adios!

Interesting Personality Traits

Have you ever been angry or upset for no apparent reason? Given I am a girl, but unrelated to that, do you ever just want to be angry? I have a stubborn streak that used to flare up when I was younger, if my mom told me to do something, let's say, to get a job, and I knew that I needed to get one, however, since she was the one suggesting it, I wouldn't want to do it, simply because of that. It's one of my silliest character traits in my opinion. Another time when I was younger, my family wanted to go mini-golfing. For some dumb, odd reason, I didn't want to and I was absolutely stubborn about it, silent treatment and all. That's what I do when I'm mad at someone, which happened a lot to my mom and my just older brother. The things that Jon and I used to butt heads about bring back a lot of interesting memories. I just hope that he's grown up over his mission. I finally pinpointed what frustrated me so much about him; his inability to take responsibility. Where I come from, there's something called toll booths, however there has been a system created called i-pass, so that you don't have to stop. My brother didn't have one, however he went through it anyway, several times, therefore ending up with a ticket. He just doesn't think about the consequences of what he does. That's the exact opposite of how I think and make decisions. Whenever I have to make a choice, I think about the consequences of that action, how it will effect me, and other people. Jon, however, didn't seem to take any of that into account at all. When I stay up late and end up tired the next day, I know that it's my own fault, and try not to really complain about it, since it was my decision to go to bed at an indecent hour instead of earlier like I might of liked to or planned.
Anyway, those were just some interesting insights to my life and personality. Maybe I need some new hobbies so that I can be more constructive with my extra time. This blogging is rather effective, I'm learning new things about myself all the time, like what a nerd I am, but wait, I already knew that.
"No love, no friendship, can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever."
-Eric Fromme

Quotes, Numbness, and Peeps

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those who sang best."
That's one of the quotes from one of my Personal Progress projects. I decided to make a quote book for my brother and his future wife, which I did, however, I still had some hours that I needed to take up time for, so I got a whole bunch of note cards and wrote on them many a quote. So that's my whole story about quotes and junk.
Do you ever get numb for no reason? I know everyone's feet fall asleep if the circulation is cut off and what not, but what about hands? Mine used to when I was in high school choir. My fingers would tingle and be cold, and it was the wierdest thing. On my way home from Las Vegas, we were crossing some very high points, and my chest started hurting, and my hands, my legs, and my face were getting numb. I swear, I could hardly feel them. Then, as we got lower, it got better, but that was one of the strangest experiences of my life, let me tell you, which I just did.
How does everyone feel about Marshmallow Peeps? I love them, however, I know there are some who will not agree with that opinion. Two years ago on Thanksgiving, I was in charge of making the sweet potatoes (some people refer to these as yams), and I decided that since all we really put on sweet potatoes is marshmallows, sugar, and butter, why not put peeps on top? So I did, and we had purple bunny peeps on them. They tasted the same, they just looked cooler obviously. By the way, when I makes sweet potatoes, they're like candy, since I slather butter, brown sugar, and as many marshmallows as we've got on top. Delicious! Now everyone knows that I actually know how to make something, since I haven't made real food like that for myself in ages. Dang!

Devotional

Compulsive Indecision and I are devotional buddies, which means, every week we go together to hear the lovely music and to experience the wonderful messages by general authorities, or the staff at school.
Today, a staff trio performed "Abide with Me; 'Tis Eventide," which is one of my favorite songs because of the lyrics of course. I know I'll hear some groans about this, but I seemed to really relate the EFY version, which is from the year 2004, the theme of Stand in the Light. I just seemed to really need the comfort from the words of that hymn. The words have given me such peace in my life, that I would like to share them with all parties present. So, I'm going to put them in my blog.

Abide with me, 'tis eventide. The day is past and gone; The shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on. Within my hear a welcome guest, Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.
Abide with me; 'tis eventide. Thy walk today with me Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with thee. Thy earnest words have filled my soul And kept me near thy side.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.
Abide with me, 'tis eventide, And lone will be the night If I cannot commune with thee, Nor find in thee my light. The darkness of the world, I fear, Would in my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.

I am glad to be able to hear such words that give me peace in my mind and in my heart. That is how I would love to have every eventide. With the Savior by my side, to hear my plees and to give me light. That is why these words inspire me, to pray more earnestly to Him, not only in my times of need, but in my times of gladness, in sharing good news with Him as I would a friend, because that is what He is.
So, that was my spiritual insight for the week, I guess, and maybe one day this hymn will mean something to you, otherwise, you can just read about my own experiences and see how my life has been affected by them.

Headaches

I am one who suffers from migraines. They used to only be a couple of times a month, but now I have had a few a week, which totally sucks. For those of you who have no idea what a migraine feels like, consider yourself lucky. The symptoms are nausea, you feel hot, your headache is pounding and it's hard to concentrate, and sometimes simple tasks seem like a chore. I had one on Sunday night, and it was difficult to brush my teeth. Another time, I could hardly make my bed because of the pain. I took some Tylenol PM to help me sleep, and I tell you, when you get to sleep and wake up the next morning, you get the best rest of your life. The funny thing was, the next day, I was still tired. I was so comfortable in my bed and apparently I needed more sleep, because I was able to fall asleep in a second after waking up. I already got ten hours of sleep, so I don't know what's up with that. So, that was my whole story on migraines. I used to get them a lot in high school, which I believe were stress related, so I started taking Propanolol, a preventative, which is actually used for hypertension as well, which I may possibly have. Anyway, a couple years ago, I decided, I don't like taking two pills a day for stuff that doesn't prevent every headache, so I stopped, and have been fine until recently. What's up with that? So, the lesson that can be learned is don't stress about life, get enough sleep, and you should be migraine free.

Major Decisions

My name should've been confusion, since I can never make up my mind, but once I do make a decision, I pretty much stick to it, while remaining open to other options. My family makes fun of me because I once said, "I like to keep my options open." I think I said this while we were playing some sort of card game or something.
So, when I first came here, I was all about Music Education, however, I didn't know anything about the audition process, and didn't have my audition material in on time. So, I took a Career Exploration class, which was way easy by the way, and I looked at some other careers and majors. I chose Social Work, partially because someone I know said that I'd be good at it, and partly because of let's say, intuition. So this semester I took a social work class, which I admit is really interesting, but I'm not getting the answers I want, and I wonder if I have enough passion to do that work. Lately I've been looking into teaching, probably secondary education, since I come from a line of teachers in my family, and I'll have to admit, it's always been something that I've enjoyed.
And then there's writing. I have always wanted to write a book, if you read the right column of this blog dealy. It's funny, I wrote a Humanities essay last week, and I really enjoyed doing it. I used to love writing essays. In high school I used to write really long essays and usually got A's on them, pretty much because I figured the teachers didn't want to read the whole thing, so they just gave me an A because I did a good job. There was this one kid in my sophomore AP English class where for the final, we read "The Grapes of Wrath" and wrote a paper on it. The kid referred to the family in the book as the Jones, not the Joads, as they are stated in the book. I just thought that was a really funny story to put in. His paper was also only a page and he handed it in in class, and the teacher graded it right then and there. He got a D. I think I got an A- or a B.
However, in high school, I also liked Spanish. Unfortunately for me, the rest of my teachers sucked after my first year. He actually made us finish the book and memorize stuff, good old Senor Aleman. Then my second year, I had four teachers, because the first one didn't agree with the curriculum, the second one was a two week substitute, and lasted as long as the other teachers, so she should be considered one. Then we had a teacher that was working on his masters, named Mr. Tarco, but we called Mr. Taco. He couldn't handle the pressure so along came Ms. Buttram. I'm serious, that's her name. I did not like her very much, especially since her accent was not very good, but I got an A in the class. Then there was Mrs. Johnson. Actually, my mom called me recently, asking about the stuff we did in class, since we, my brother and I, took the class from the teacher at different times, told my mom that we did nothing in class. An administrator had spoken to my mother about Mrs. Johnson, so pretty much right now, they're trying to get her fired. All thanks to my input, and of course, of my friends who also didn't get anything out of the class.
So that's my life story for spanish, and my search for the major that is right for me. So yeah, I've got a lot of things on my mind at this point. The end. But not the end of my decision.

Abby and the Kangaroos

The title of this blog sounds like the name of a rock band or something. Anyway, here's my blog.

So, kangaroos are pretty much one of my favorite animals. My friend Abby, who I've known forever, at least since I was five, had the opportunity as a gift from her parents for graduation, to travel to Austrailia and New Zealand. She brought me back this mini stuffed kangaroo, since she knew I liked them.

The stories I could tell about Abby and myself. Every time we go to each other's homes, we have a box of macaroni and cheese, and we saw "The Lion King" together in the theaters when we were about six or seven, so there's tons of dumb inside jokes about that. She took piano lessons from my mom, and we both worked at the Disney Store together. Were even were in the same kindergarten class together. I haven't seen her in forever, since I haven't been home for almost eight months, and plan on doing spring term. I don't think we've ever had a fight, but she's got a little bit different personality than myself. She can be a bit bossy, and a little dramatic, but she is loyal to those she really cares about, so that's pretty much why Abby's one of my best friends. I haven't talked to her in forever, but the thing is, even though we don't get to communicate that well, we both know that we're still friends, and we have those great memories together.

Finger Nails

So here's my dilema. I hate cutting my fingernails. I have a fear of nail files. They remind me of nails on a chalkboard. However, my nails get pretty weak as they get longer, so I can't keep them long. Besides, have you ever tried putting in your contacts with long nails? It's hard to take then out as well. If you're a guy, this is not a huge issue, but girls like their nails to look nice, but since I obviously am pretty lax in my nail care (I only wear clear nail polish on my nails, it looks more natural and a little bit classier, not to diss those girls who wear other colors), and maybe paint my nails once a month, it's not a huge deal. However, my nails get chipped and cracked with the kind of sanitation engineering I'm involved with. I just thought I'd throw that out there for anybody who may have any suggestions.
That's my whole random story plot thing that you know about because I just told you.
Here's my quote of the day:
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with" -Mark Twain

The Nauvoo Temple

This is one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. I wish that everyone could see the Nauvoo Illinois Temple, but as that is not possible, here it is in my blog.

There is Sunshine in my Soul Today

So, I am the sister of Compulsive Indecision. Yes, my boyfriend recently broke up with me. I guess it's not that recent, since it was almost three weeks ago, but it still hurts a little bit, more like an ache that gradually lessens. Given, we had only been dating for 26 days, but we saw each other every day. We even spent a weekend together in Las Vegas, no we did not get married and my brother and his wife and other people were there to "supervise" as they would so kindly put it.
Sometimes I wake up feeling sorry for myself, and then I look outside and I see the sun shining, and realize how happy I am and how lucky I am to be here on this earth with so many people that love me. Well, except that today is cloudy and overcast and somewhat depressing, but I'll probably just watch a movie or do some work I know I should do but would rather choose not to do.
I know that someone else will come along and sweep me off my feet, and who knows, maybe tomorrow will be the day I meet another person that will mean so much to me. I'm taking it a smile at a time. What has been helpful to me, is knowing that the world is not going to end. There will be another day. Another guy. He is beginning to move on, and that is so reassuring to me, to know that he has found some happiness, that I've allowed myself to have some of my own. Obviously music has been a huge help, listening to some good break-up songs, and Compulsive Indecisions' s homemade cookies.
So, life goes on and there is sunshine in my soul today. I don't regret the experience I had with my first boyfriend, as I was also his first, which is something we will always share, and I want to be there to always support him, since he is one of my best friends and knows things no one else in this world knows. I wouldn't give up that for anything.

Music Spread Thy Voice Around

I love music. It makes me happy, creates a mood, and it's something I can relate so closely with. There's an artist that I absolutely fell in love with, named Michael Buble, who is a Canadian, unfortunately, but I just love to sing it. Geez, I sure say love a lot.
So, music is a grand thing in life. I especially enjoy lyrics at this time, of many sad songs, happy songs, thoughtful songs.
Often the melody or the tune of a song may be beautiful, but I don't think that the lyrics have been read and understood enough to have the effect that they could have.
I don't think that I have amazed anyone with my awesome prose, but I still have plenty of time to wow you all yet. "You" meaning the approximately two or three people that will ever read this.
So, welcome to the blog spot of Que Sera, and visit me again so that you may read about my absolutely boring life, in which I will complain, gripe, tell you things you never wanted to know, and to entertain you in a way you've never been entertained before. Not. Anyway, you know where to find me.