Heart and Soul

Well, I did it. I feel so freakin' relieved. However, this guy still thinks that there is a chance, in hinting, "we should do this sometime" and "let's try it again maybe in a few weeks" and that is where I told him I would call him if I felt that it would be right. Personally, I doubt it. That's the plain and simple truth folks. Wow, I feel so much better. This may sound mean and all, but I don't really care about him at all. I'm serious. Maybe it's because I don't like him anymore. I'd like to blame it on that so that I don't feel so terrible. I feel so FREE! It's kind of sad, but it's almost like I feel like I have permission to smile. I can be happy again. This guy is great and all, but it felt like there was a huge weight over me the whole time, like I had to be someone else, even though I was myself. It was as if I was waiting to slip up, to be someone else. I don't know if that makes any sense to any of my readers, but that's my emotion after this break-up. Geez, it was hard enough to break-up with someone who I had only dated for three or four days, I can't imagine loving someone and being in a serious relationship and doing that. We'll see how this works in our ward together. I just wonder how many people know about our relationship initially, but in truth, everyone has a history, someone that they've dated that others know about, so I will simply join the rest of that group, in being part of the ward gossip. Whoop dee do.